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Jay hit the snooze button today. He’s in a tent that’s orange and grey. We found this spot tucked back into the campground, and he said, ” I think we should stay.” I’m glad we did

Yesterday we set up camp, had a campfire, made tea, took some photographs, and looked at the stars through an app before crawling into the tent for the night. There was a small female raccoon that seemed injured and sick. She came up and laid against our tent. Jay fed her pineapple and slowly earned her trust. I gave here water and a box. Even so, she was wary of us and eventually wandered off again. I hope she finds somewhere safe.

Jay is dressed in grey and green stripes, almost matching the environment around us. It’s like his camouflage, though he didn’t plan it- we came here on a whim.

The cool mountain air is refreshing after the heat and the smoke of the Canadian mountain fires drifting through, I woke up with a sore throat as my body tried to clear the pollution. You don’t realize how bad it is until you can finally breath clean air again.

This morning I had a mug of hot Positive Tea. The tag read, “Your inner self is your inner guide.” It felt as though the tea was speaking directly to me. I asked Jay which tea he wanted and he said the black tea, so this one became mine.

I’ve been reading The Inner Work by the yoga couple, and it talks about bringing spirituality into meditation- about recognizing that the inner voice that’s always speaking may be connected to something greater. It reminds me of the idea “I am,” a phrase that appears across different spiritual traditions including Christianity, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Sitting here in the quiet, surrounded by trees and fresh air, that idea feels a little easier to understand.

I finally woke up after snoozing a little longer this morning and felt rejuvenated, another day beginning. My heart full of love and joy to be next to my partner, touching my hand on his chest near the heart chakra, the energy filling our hearts to the brim as a reminder of how blessed I feel sharing each moment and an idea of the bigger picture, longer term with you. Our lives feel full of magickal splendor; quiet moments of relaxation and minutes of conversation. I’m ready to start preparing to spend the next five years with you to live in the moment and the next ten years after that.

On rainy nights, we listen to the wind blowing passionately, with the chimes playing their chaotic tunes that drift in through open windows. I cuddle up to you and fall asleep, knowing we’re safe and warm.

MeKel E <engelmekel16@gmail.com>	Mon, Jul 27, 5:08 PM (18 hours ago)
to me

Jay, I started to journal some shadow work with the goddess archetype, I recieved from a quiz, named Hecate. She’s the triple moon goddesss that I had a dream about and didn’t really know about. So the prompts asked me to circle whag I could relate to about a cognitive distortion and told me it’s not a personality flaw. I related so far to not making decisions for school due to an underlying fear dealing with feeling inadequate. It said to write a reason to makd the decision and it’s thag I have help and a time limit from vocational rehab and I’m excited by the subject of healing and hdlping people. The second shadow was that I agreed mostly with statements about keeping people close but not being open, honest or vulnerable with those I love. I decided that I’d rather write a letter or poem to you to open up about the idea that maybe you and I can work on building more intimacy in our relationship so I don’t close off and get quiet with you for long periods of time. I’d really like for us to build this long term and use it to talk more in bed and like you suggested earlier last night to trust you and open up to you to heal from stuff I’d otherwise have to bring up unprdpared in therapy. I trust you and want thid to work. I need to practice conversation and talking about details.I love you and can’t wait for you to get home so we can go to NA together.  

MeKel E <engelmekel16@gmail.com>	Mon, Jul 27, 6:08 PM (17 hours ago)
to me

I wrote out some reactions to journal prompts for my shadow work. I’m excited to gi to NA with you, I showered. It said to share one opinion per week with someone I love. I reax in the book the Innef Work thag conciouness works like programming a radio station, this was an analogy I’d never thiught of. To change to positive outcomes you have to conciously switch stations. I’ve been practicjng on my own since last night. Filtering out thoughts that aren’t how I actually feel and respondjng to them with sonething more honest or positive. I thought maybe sharing this could help you too. The book says to work together on the examples. Love you!