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I had to let it go; the obsession with being on a timeline. I was feeling emotions of disappointment but now I’m in the right mindset and I know I just needed a little bit more courage to let the productivity flow.

Jay woke up immediately and got to work on the coffeemaker. Without a single complaint, he pushed through the morning grogginess and headed straight to the kitchen. When his first attempt didn’t work, he calmly pulled up a tutorial and kep going until he figured it out.

One of the things I admire most about him is how naturally he solves problems. He has a gift for helping people, not only with his mind but with his hands. It’s incredible to watch him combine so many kinds of intelligence- curiousity, patience, creativity, and practical skill.

I feel so blessed to have a partner who truly listens, wants to help, and approaches challenges with kindness. He uses both his heart and his talents to make life better for people around him, and I hope I never take that for granted.

As of recently, we gaze into the sky together, finding new and old stars we might have forgotten were there with time.

Magick and wishes come coming through and showering us with abundance I’m full of gratitude.

Curling around the canyon, viewing dragonflies as they put on their show. Feeling fine with my partner beside me, upward to the patches of pine. Watching as the sun begins to shine, creating a mystical orange glow, turning the canyon into a glowing cathedral. The sun is descending beyond the canyon edges; soon it will go and the moon will glow. Gazing through weeds and wildflowers to where all the wild creatures move and grow. We come upon the deer at the edge of a field, moving to and fro. Grazing on the green near some bright yellow sunflowers that begin to turn inward toward one another, sharing their heart vibrations.

Dear MeKel,

I’m proud of you. I’m taking interest in things that are good for me instead of self-sabotaging. I quit meth, alcohol, vaping and porn. I’m trying my hardest to fill the time in with productive thinking and work with my parents around the house before I get a job again or go back to college.

I’m starting out narrative therapy with some ideas of reversing a role on myself and writing about it. I also want to incorporate some Goddess archetypes in my shadow work as well as doing christian base with Carl Yung. I’m working on daily practice of yoga, weekly dance, drinking water and eating closer to a vegan diet to improve my health. I hope in 5 years that I feel stronger, more capable, mobile, flexible and conditioned to walk or hike and I hope I can perform belly dance. I want to improve my mental health and time management.; maybe memory and learn more so that I can get more tasks done throughout the day almost like I travel to the future.

Jay and I have wanderlust and would like to buy an RV to become debt free! we talk about iit, hope for it, and I want to start saving for it. So far I’ve saved $200.

Love, Self

Dear Self,

I did a word search challenge “The first three words are what you’re manifesting” and it said confidence, strength (Which is what my mom said about me) and dance. I’m taking interest in things that are good for me instead of self-sabotaging. I quit meth, alcohol, and vaping. I’m trying my hardest to fell the time in with hproductive thinking and work with my parents before I try to get a new job or go back to college.

This morning I had to have a little bit of patience to figure out how to start the coffeemaker. It was worth the wait because the coffee is still good from when Jay fixed it. Last night he surprised me and took me to see Spiderman at the drive in.

This morning, we got a few things accomplished early on, I was able to step into a rhythm and flow, which allowed me to really enjoy yin yoga with Jay and spend some time getting to know myself through shadow work and wound healing. I also wrote a thank you to my parents and sent it to both of them and to my son.

The yin yoga was a slow flow with soft breathing and gentle movements. Afterward, I think I’ll take an hour to read Inner Work. RIght now, I’m watching two miniature candles on the table slowly burn down into the wax, surrounded by the little red and white rose petals I sprinkled around them. I think I’d like some more tea, and I need to organizeand type up some of my writing. It has been a self-care day. We shampooed our hair twice, leaving it smelling like rosemary and mint, I put on the gingham lotion my sister gave me and spritzed some of it on my neck and forearm. Then I braided my hair and put some soft lotion on my face.

The cat had some salmon but left it uneaten. I brushed her hair and wiped her with the coconut scented wipes. There’s something comforting about caring for both of us in these small ordinary ways. All around it has been a good day and it’s nearly six o’clock, so I still have some sunlight to spare. There is time left to read, to write, to make more tea, and simply to let the evening unfold.

It’s going to rain. Jay said the thunder was in the south. My tea fortune says that my greatest strength is love. I’m listening to Jay water the wildflowers and taking in the smell of tangerine.

The cloves encased inside of our tea and the stars shine in the sky. simple pleasures we aim to share.